Time.
I can't do this without it.
I can't kill a desire without time.
I need time to explore this feeling and I keep wanting more. More time sitting on his unmade bed, more frequencies of his voice and more intense contact from his eyes. I crave his touch even though I never felt it.
That's why I need time. I need time for things to happen.
I need more of it.
But still it is not enough.
