I can't write anymore.
Not because I gave up on you, or whatever my mind thinks this is.
Not because the feeling has changed and my flowers stopped growing, and my tears have dried and I can now sleep eight hours straight.
Because that's nearly impossible when my heart seems to get out of my chest whenever I feel his presence, and my dreams give me the reality I wish I was able to have.
I feel like I've never felt this before.
This craving.
This necessity to be as close as I can to you.
I can't do this anymore because it hurts.
It hurts so much.
It hurts because I keep pretending that is going to be okay. That we are going to be okay.
But I don't even know if you feel the same.
It hurts because I don't know what will happen.
And it hurts even more because I've figured out that I probably will never have you.
So what's even the point
