I'm not sure if I've become acquainted with the feeling or if I just have chosen to ignore it over time, but right now it has come to a point where I can barely sleep or think straight at most times.
It's just there.
Everywhere.
Every time.
And now, it even keeps it's presence when I try to ignore it. It's unsettling.
A constant reminder of how unfair I can be.
Sometimes I tell myself that it wasn't my choice. Sometimes, even, I say that if I could stop it, I would. Or at least I try to convince myself of that.
I wonder what my excuse for this will be.
I guess I'm in too deep anyway, since I've been writing about it for too long now.
Anyway, it's happening and I can't keep blaming time for it, I can only blame myself.
But what is there to be blamed?
